max raabe is gemutlichkeit ... ya

having recently come across lots of marilyn manson music clips on youtube | and watching interviews by appallingly lame and tedious USA journalists ... marilyn intelligently rebuffing their journalist buffoonery | i discovered that a person called max raabe performed at marilyn manson and ditta von teese's wedding



wow!


check out max raabe on youtube | in particular his cover of tainted love | an absolutely brilliant weimar republic style rendition of this classic | makes me want to bring double brested suits and a swing band for our wedding

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ6zkW1khfw


am officially obsessed

douglas turns 50

my beautiful, handsome, creative and sexy man ... douglas turned 50 and we had a fantastic party in melbourne with about 30 of his friends at the end of february

what a night!

people who had not seen each other for years experienced another of our legendary 'meet' fests that we put on about once every four years | some flying in from tasmania, south australia, new south wales | can you believe the alcohol didn't run out and not through lack of trying and the birthday cake completely eliminated any impure thoughts about food catering ... it was the chocolate equivalent of a bear orgy, a good one that is ...

douglas in his unique way had everyone hanging off his words of thanks and drew a great path through the decades and how so many of his friends entered various periods of his life and remain friends to this day

a few tears of joy were shed and even more when, although nauseaous with nerves ... I proposed marriage to douglas in front of all of his friends as part of a thank you speech ... wow! it took me about 3 months to work up the courage and to find the appropriate and relevant quotes from that popular culture whore, britney spears ... lol

after about 15 seconds ... he accepted | what the fuck would i do if he didn't? that contingency wasn't necessary as i knew it wouldn't be

the amusing and slightly scary thing is ... people love weddings and all crap that goes around them ... everyone wants to get involved and people go all goey over the idea, and ask lots of questions about an unplanned for event ... i never really thought about the aftermarth in any specific kinda way ...

elopement is definitely an option ... stay tuned

happy birthday to my mother

my mother is 62 | my mother is an institution | she is a cross between kath day-night, nana mouskouri & queen mary [the person, not the ship ...]

after a year of having not spoken to each other I finally relented, mobile in hand and dialled ... curious how we remember our mothers telephone number ... including area code! well, we picked up from the moment we last spoke to each other and both had lots of news to share about families, sibling [mine cover every possible 'demon'graphic in known to the australian bureau of statistics and more | you know the usual stuff ... who's rooting whom, when & where, nieces and nephews and associated good and bad behaviour, boyfriends, girlfriends, the weather, the bushfires [we lived through one once ... 'lived' being the key word here], marriage, birthdays, the price of vegetables and gin, and so on and so on ...

the sweetest thing about my mother, is that she never holds a grudge against me for my appalling lack of consistency in attention to her .. perhaps that is the only benefit of being the oldest child ... it must be the only one ...

we do love one another unconditionally even though we operate at opposite ends of the spectrum in our approach to life ... happy birthday to you

honi soi que maly pense

yes ... i'm a blogger truant and a number of friends have expressed that they are suffering from blogger deprivation disorder so after almost six month of absenteeism | i have returned

get your face out of my coconut ruff . . .

. . . how exquisite it is when the unwritten intellectual & experiential intimacies between two people can reduce them to hopeless uncontrollable laughter & mirth with statements such as the above | we spent many a moment in mirth ... | a partner & mate who can still break me up into side splitting laughter is a treasure beyond definition

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it is said that context is everything | & this weekend through to today was a period of fast paced socialising & longer periods of serene quiet with episodes of unbridled lust & desire | languid in each others arms & wallowing in a certain kind of masculine sharing | yes, my douglas graced the shores of elba & the lips of the islands prisoner

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always when driving from the airport after our goodbyes | a piece of music will play that cajoles those bittersweet feelings | farewell, distance, intensity of emotional connection, temporary loss | love ... for all it's inadequacy as a word | tears will well up, the taste of salt & I relish in that bittersweet stuff | the melancholia of absence & the joy of return ...

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contributing to the sense of romance & serenity is that spring in tasmania is upon us | that first sense of warm on your back from the sun | the inky blue sky as the sun is setting, promising still summer nights to come ... of sensuous times ahead ... | of eating amongst the beauty & linearity of our somewhat overly designed garden paradise for months on end ... check out da garden at drum house

pathos as physical pain

for 3 years i have put off watching 'brokeback mountain' | a pattern of mine to ignore perceived popular culture experience until i want to consume it | for some reason i came across shorts of the film on youtube & got hooked into the film & bought it mid last week

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strangely i have been seeking a cathartic crying experience for several weeks | not easy being an emotional control freak & i kinda believed that if i watched this film the catharsis would occur & i would experience the needed crying

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putting off watching the film until last night | i hopped into bed & glued myself to the laptop from beginning to end ...

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the result was one of intense physical pain ... in my chest, the oddest feeling of both emotional torture as the observer & of a profoundity that hasn't yet left me | i don't buy into love stories & believe the word is so ridiculously inadequate for the plethora of feelings one can have for another | i actually didn't see it as a love story but as a tragedy so personal, so near experienced by myself, so invisible to the world and such a intimate grief | a real sense of the experience of being an other in the world | & i don't believe that unless one has spent a significant amount of one's life being an óther' that real understanding of the gravity of this pathos occurs

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perhaps some of this is the projection on the film by myself, of the exquisite pain of intense feelings for another & how shockingly close one can be to having that rent asunder by fate or circumstances | all i could think about today is of the monumental & indefinable level of grief i would experience if my man disappeared, died or was taken away from me suddenly | i realise that we are separated physically, often, with occasional re-unions of passion, lust & emotional intensity, most likely all the way through until to the end of 2009 ... perhaps this also contributes

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but to even contemplate that i may never see or be with him again due to some freak of fate | stops me dead in my tracks ... | it is immobilising me & makes all other cares in life seem irrelevant

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i had coffee with my great friend wendy today & she made the observation that her view of us is one of a highly entwined emotional connection that is rarely seen | interestingly enough a number of friends have commented that they would hunt us down & kill us both if we ever broke apart | douglas & i seem to have created some unique phenomena that elicits this fervour of threat by others ... i feel both empowered & frightened & scared | my emotional resilience & my "i am an island" psychological view of self has been significantly dented

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i would have not believed a cinematic experience would lead me in this direction

enjoyment in july

after 4 weeks of this new management role i can finally say i had an enjoyable day | it is a tough assignment ... not the toughest i have had and only 6 months to facilitate so much that i believe needs to be done | am finding some tasmanian government organisations and particularly in this instance seem to be a time machine journey backwards, 15 if not 20 years

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am distinctly missing my man this week, even though i hardly have enough energy after work to mumble more than a few syllables | am missing the physical closeness, the warmth & the hilarity of our day to day lives

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but relief is in sight this weekend as the hairy D touches down on Elba bringing relief, great wine & company the not to be sniffed at, delicious physical pleasures of intimate understanding ... lol ... & enjoyment